A Good Book

I have decided to do a good book post every now & then. Mostly when I come across one. So, I figured I'd start with a "help" book that L & I really have enjoyed not only together but as understanding yourself as an individual.

The book has been around for awhile but I figured it's still blog-worthy! It's called, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

It's a New York Times Bestseller so I am sure most of you have heard about it.

I feel the book has powerful message and I like ther testimonies from real people. Like I said though, it has not only helped us as a couple but as individuals as well.

It's helped me understand a little of my past & even what I view Love as. I think understanding yourself is first and foremost before you try to understand anyone else, friends, family or your significant other. Once you have a grasp on who you are it makes understanding other people not as hard and even makes you more appreciative of who other people are.

It covers, of course, the five love languages;

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

The book goes over them in detail & helps you understand what each one really means to people. Then it helps you figure out which two are your primary love language. It's been helpful doing this with L because I had a better understanding of what makes him feel loved & what makes him feel loved is not the same as what makes me feel loved.

See, most people show love the way they feel loved. Which is usually not the same way the other person feels loved. Thus, creating a problem. But as Maya Angelo says, " When you know better, you do better."

L's primary love languages are Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch. Where mine are Quality Time & Acts of Service.

See, before understanding this about each other I would have done things for L or wanted to spend time with him to show him I love him. In the same token L would try to say positive things & hug or kiss me to show me he loves me. The problem is our primary love languages are not the same so our "love tanks" were not as full as they could be.

Now knowing what I do know, I try to remember L needs to hear me say what a great husband he is or give him that extra kiss before work instead of me just picking up the house for him. He also tries to cook dinner for me or go on a date with me instead of just giving me a kiss or hug before bed. That is what really makes him feel loved and what makes me feel loved.

The book was actually a tool our pastor used in our marriage counseling. He explained he and his wife try to read it once a year together and now that it has been exactly one year since L purposed to me, He & I will be re-reading it as well.

I am learning it is important to maintain your marriage just like you would a car. Making sure it's properly maintained and running great.

Are there any books you'd love to rave about or have helped you? Let me know! I am always looking for a great book to read!